It seems I am incapable of consuming alcohol. I decided that since I am going to Japan, I should learn to drink sake. I don't want to be in the situation of being offered some sake while over there and having to turn it down. Drinking is like a national sport for the Japanese. If I was offered some sake I would be loathe to have to say, "Sorry, I don't drink". I am not thinking I want to get drunk (the thought of losing control scares the shit out of me) I just don't want to be rude.
To this end I went and bought a bottle of sake at the local liquor store. The plan was to drink a bit each night until I got used to the taste and effects. When I got home I poured out a small amount (not even a mouthful) into a Japanese tea cup I have and set about trying to drink it.
It was only by an effort of will that I managed to get the stuff in my mouth. My body seems to have a mind of it's own with this regard. It does not want me to drink. I had to force myself to do so. The stuff tastes vile, as harsh and nasty tasting as every other alcohol I have ever had. After I had swallowed the first pour, I started feeling like my stomach was angry at me. It was tossing and turning and I started burping a lot. It took about an hour for the effects of the first cup to go away.
When I was feeling a little better I poured some more into the cup. About the same amount as last time. I fought myself to get it up to my mouth. I got it to my lips and had to put the cup down. I waited a minute and tried again. Once again, as I was getting to the point of being able to drink, my body forced me to put the cup down. I managed to actually drink it on the third attempt. History is a good teacher, even recent history. My stomach started doing acrobatics and the belching started again.
After another hour, the feelings settled down so I poured a third small dose into the cup. This time I managed to get it in and swallowed on the first attempt. My stomach threatened to crawl up my throat and kick my brain in the cerebellum for doing this to it. The burping took on a new urgency, and then suddenly stopped. I could feel the need to burp building and building. It was getting desperate but I couldn't seem to open my throat to let it out. The pressure built and built and my throat remained closed. Finally after what seemed like an hour but was only 45 minutes, I burped. It was a good feeling.
By then my stomach had stopped practicing for it's attempt to join a trapeze act so I poured a fourth cup. This one I couldn't bring myself to drink at all. I sat on the couch staring at the cup, listening to John Stewart making wise cracks about some new political scandal. The cup stared back at me wondering why I was refusing to drink it.
After half an hour of this staring match I got up and poured the cup down the sink. I now have a mostly full bottle of sake that I am not sure I can bring myself to drink. Maybe I will try again this weekend.
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